مراحل الحب الزوجي وأهميته مع مستشارة العلاقات الزوجية جيسي طعمة أبو زيد Love is an essential component of marriage. But let us start asking, “what is love really?”
Love has 4 main stages:
1) The Honeymoon Stage: where the couple loves blindly just as they are. They might love the wrong people, people who might hurt them or destroy their personality. This stage does not last long.
2) Wrestling or Fighting Stage: in this stage, the couple see each other just as they are. They start to discover certain habits they don’t like in their partners, such as the way they talk or eat. They start criticizing the very things that attracted them to each other. These are not symptoms to worry about because such clashes are healthy and don’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, but that we moved to a different stage where they start loving each other for who they really are. But this stage needs learning the skills of communication and expressing emotions in the right way. 3) Acceptance Stage: The couple moves to this stage after they learn good communication skills. Studies made on couples around the world showed those who lasted longest stopped having goals of changing their partners. They loved their partners despite everything they find annoying in them. This stage is beautiful but can suffer from routine. That’s why the couple needs to find fun time together, go to marriage retreats, attend marriage conferences to learn new things to apply in their relationship.
4) Appreciation Stage: here the couple respects and is not threatened by their differences. On the contrary, the couple sees those differences as complementing them.
Unfortunately, ignorance about those stages and the unwillingness to commit are the main causes of marriage failure today. Also, the couple dynamic changed nowadays where women are more independent and work long hours, so the roles are clashing and unfaithfulness is increasing especially within the work environment because infatuation opportunities are more open to people we work with for long hours.
Today, men and women are equally cheating each other. Reasons are: absence of skills to create a successful marriage and ignorance about the role of the dopamine that can make our hearts beat to any person we get attracted to. That is not love, but people need to put boundaries or else probability of falling into wrong relationships are high. Knowledge helps us take precautions and not to dwell on the attraction because it is not love.
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